When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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