Quick, to the slutcave!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
