Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize