How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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