why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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