The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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