Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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