I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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