so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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