is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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