I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
