Can Purell be used as lube?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
