4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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