I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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