...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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