oh god the rape fog is back!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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