If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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