this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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