i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
