I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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