Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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