just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
