Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
