you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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