Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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