Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
