sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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