no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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