You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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