Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
