Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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