dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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