so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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