Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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