All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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