You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I want to make a zoo with you.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
