peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
