I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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