i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
