At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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