Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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