Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As shirtless as possible
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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