Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
