So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
