he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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