hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Screwed.edu
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
