I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
