Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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