you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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