I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't think brook has ever known best
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
