That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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