my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bring me that man meat
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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