apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize