you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
