What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
