I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
