We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
