i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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