i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
