Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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