White coat. Heels.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
