K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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