i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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