Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
