Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
