..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Apparently you make a good broom.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
