Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
