He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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